The Hutch

A Shot in the Dark?

2007-02-04T06:30:00.000-06:00

An assemblage of modern wisdom has us believe we are best served by being shrewd. Certainly the contempt we show would-be panders and promotion-ists self or otherwise is justified in most cases except that I find this Jesus fellow turning this notion once again on its head. Nicodemus was a notorious character in his day yet Jesus invited himself to his house for din-din, a no-no for devout practioners of his religion. The tawdry companions Jesus kept company with constantly gave pause to His more orthodox adherents so much so that John the Baptist who once exclaimed at His coming "Behold the Lamb..." had questions. Are you the one or should we look for another?" was posed to Jesus from prison by John destined to a martyr's death. Jesus not given to glib remarks to one so rightfully entitled to a response nonetheless answered with an invitation to hang around and see what happened to John's followers. After a few days he remarked to them go and tell John what you've seen and heard, i.e. the Messiah has given Himself wholesale to the wrong crowd to minister to unabashedly.

His intention was to establish the unmitigated fact that God the Father, of whom scripture records He referred to as Abba a colloquialism of the day not the formal Jewish idiom for God-Yahweh, cared deeply about the wrong people. It was not chance, happenstance, marketing or make-do polemics that brought Jesus to these folk instead of the religious establishment-it was purposeful compassion.

We moderns like to enshrine God in the Kabuki Theater of politics, religion, power, and access. We champion the beating of our pruning hooks and plowshares into swords in a do unto others before they do unto you gospel of might and human invention. Our powers that be spiritual and otherwise as well are self-congratulatory the numbers speak for themselves and certainly they must for God, He's pleased with us the polls tell us so.

Finally lost on us possibly is the story of the widow's mite. Jesus stood there and saw the wealth, the prestige, the caprice of the givers and yet the merest two cents caught His attention, for it was the abundance of the heart not the size of the gift that mattered then and now.

I grew-up as a Christian on the theosophy termed "The Lordship Message". A popular slogan was, "If Jesus is not Lord of all He's not Lord at all!" As an old fart I'm finding this truth about that ideal, most of us were taught to lie about ourselves to ourselves and others about our commitment when in fact we were far from His Lordship in deed, and most importantly in heart, only in name to erect a facade. I'll gladly pitch in my two cents of all that I have in the way of commitment and thank Him humbly for the opportunity to be called a disciple of a Messiah who seems more impressed with copper coined beggars than gold plated liars.

John

2006-11-19T04:59:00.000-06:00

The holiday season is here and I wanted to share a thought. Some have given us a time for introspection at this time of the year something to be thankful for etc., etc. Or we're given to the lamentation of our gluttony, our excess, our materialism and so on. I like to watch the Christmas Carol; the Patrick Stewart rendition of this holiday classic is my favorite. In it people’s passing may be mourned, Marley's by a solitary figure, later Scrooge's passing marked by a few wry jokes and the quibbling over his possessions seem to have sealed his doom. This led to an epiphany for him and maybe for us. (Since it is the season of such as well.)

Do we give people reason for celebration of our presence or of our passing. In this presence it doesn't allow that we be the life of the party, but are we the life of life, or are we the life that when over is greeted with relief? I have begun to ask myself will I enhance the bouquet of someone's life, add savor to their feast, comfort to their ailing, consolation to their doubts. Will I enjoy life at the expense of others or will I make life enjoyable. The Jewish faith is replete with feasts and celebrations, a place in the human existence to exult in the goodness of God. We give into our pleasure as American Christians and seek to remember as well that we are a blessed nation. Might we as one blessed give others a reason to reflect on their blessedness as well?

John

B&W Movies

2006-10-30T04:30:00.000-06:00

The time of year approaches where I drag out some old movies and watch them. My favorite I suppose is the "Bishop's wife". It gets me thinking about the importance in life of not getting caught-up in being important. The great cathedral had distracted the Bishop, not that it wasn't an important thing to do, but that he'd not seen the value of everyday life. His new assistant seemed annoyingly drawn to the ordinary and utterly flippant about the ministry the Bishop-Henry had. When I'm tempted to overlook the caress of one of my kid's hand, the lick of one of my puppies, or the laughter of my spouse, I seek out the wisdom of Henry's assistant.

John

2006-09-21T02:30:00.000-05:00

Star Trek...
I was doing some early morning chores yesterday and I glimpsed up at the stars and noted the twinkle of those distant orbs God spoke to Abraham and later Moses about as a promise. I wondered if on some planet circling another star our faint speck of existence was included in a similar promise by God.

There are stars and then there are stars some so large they would encompass our entire solar system. God used both sand and the stars as a metaphor of promise for Abraham. I think the earthiness of the sand as a foretelling of a New Jerusalem coming down someday, how I haven't the foggiest. Some of course say it'll be the arrival of a bowling trophy for the most Christian of the Christian who've summoned God by their earnestness. Obviously I have some disdain for that ideal; Jesus said He didn't know when He would return only the Father knew.

As with all things God we catch a glimpse here and there but certitude isn't in the equation. I heard much of eschatology as a Charismatic growing up, in retrospect much of it hasn't panned out. The oligarchy mode of Christianizing the planet and thereby holding the place hostage while God is dragged into the scene kicking and screaming doesn't seem to hold water. Something in scripture about the days of Noah comes to mind. Noah a crazy man built an ark out of wood and held it together with tar, no rudder, sail, engine, or even a watertight hatch-God sealed them inside.

The carnivores ate grass with the herbivores and Noah and his family had to do without Starbucks for a while. I don't think the ingenuity of men will have much to do with summoning God almighty to do their bidding. Stars, the opposite end of the spectrum from lowly grains of sand one small, one enormous, the comparison one of import in my mind in that sand can be held in palm of a human hand, a star in the hand of God.

John

2006-09-08T17:12:00.000-05:00

I was reading on-line the other day and the issue of a "Simple Gospel" surfaced. What a concept it was to some so passé to others. It seems the uber-mench mentality of Christianity has outdistanced the Jesus of the Gospels, or have we just run rings around something banging pot lids together.

Much is made of our inheritance these days and I marvel at how many have stomped in and demanded theirs and traipsed off with a bundle over their shoulder and a tuneless whistle to while away the miles of their journey. Could this be yet another instance of a prodigal, which I can seem to be obsessed with I suppose, unhappy with the state of affairs at the ranch and taking matters into their own hands?

Much dominion taking these days smacks of "I'd like mine now thanks and I'll see ya later, gater." No wonder that a few years down the road we show-up bedraggled and beat-up edging our way onto the property confused and dazed from malnutrition and exhausted. I've used the collective we here because that's exactly where I've found myself deeply shamed and embarrassed to be considered a Christian. The older brothers of whom I am adept at being as well don't seem to make much sense not that I disdain them, I just don't have any interest in the politics of turf battles, or postures on sinfulness. You can still catch a whiff of pig-sty on me.

Perspective changes indeed when the familiar sight of home comes as one who’s felt a stranger to the place where we came to life in the first place. As with the parable the Father's guests and the Father himself don't seem to notice the shambles we've made of things; we're back we're here we're alive, the oddest guest of honor ever to grace or disgrace a feast with our presence. The lens with which we see the kingdom is adjusted here, either on the faults of others or the goodness and grace of the Father.

John

2006-08-23T16:24:00.000-05:00

Quisling is Twentieth Century nomenclature for traitor taken from the name of a said notorious Norwegian. A villa was honored today, his former manse, as a place for recognition of oppression of religious minorities. A curiosity I'm finding is that the Church apparently isn't a place for minorities. Of course that’s no real surprise actually the south has codified racism for centuries, the seat of this was in the southern church where pew and bigotry got down to the business of separation. The white folks tolerated the black folks if they kept in their place; the shame of segregation was bridged by efforts of Dr. Martin Luther King, which included spilt blood-his own, and the assassination of his person and character.

I say this because I wonder what epithet the word Christian might become as we ease our way into another century with equal aplomb in the treachery department. When the Nazi's invaded Norway, Vidkun Quisling moved into this mansion and became the self-proclaimed collaborative government of Norway, while the elected officials were in exile in London. This son of a church official pillaged the wealth of the Jewish community and condemned a significant portion of that quarter to death. After the peace was established in the wake of War II, he was summarily executed for war crimes.

I'm curious if some future do-gooders will erect museums or some sort of cultural center for the underprivileged, poor, needy, and oppressed at some of the sanctuaries left vacant by Christians. Christians who had better things to do than consider the undesirables among them because they were busy divvying up the spoils of the culture they were called to love.

John

2006-08-18T00:44:00.000-05:00

Southern Gothic author Flannery O'Connor was said to spend three hours in the morning writing and the rest of the day getting over it. Writing is a neurotic enterprise that preys on our souls at times; reading doesn't do us much better it seems. We cast ourselves in a play of three acts and somewhere during intermission the scenic hands put up the wrong backdrop and we do "Hamlet" in a New York walk-up interior. Alas poor John I knew him well.

How do we live in these days where our sense of intelligence comes from a box; our sense period from a grocery store magazine rack where the sperm donor's rogue's gallery of celebrated status stares back at us in glossy inked unreality. Or to the Christian world where we thrive on the do's and don'ts of probity and propriety while life swirls around our ankles with the debris of humanity. Hmmm me thinks the reader is pondering lighter reading or possibly just more coherent. I think the answer while not "Blowin' in the wind" as the song simplistically states may be as down to earth. How do we feel about life, our life, ourselves? Do we read these as indicators of where we are going or just sign posts of our discontent?

We are in a place of need I find in our world, a need not for clarity as much as a need for faith. Faith? What faith? What do we put our trust in; to what do we owe our allegiance to outside of ourselves? We need to trust our relationship to the Father through Jesus. Don't have one? Or has religion supplanted your relationship, the rigor of a reality based on performance instead of the reality of performance based on relationship. We do because of our who. We rest in our isness. I've found a truth in life that has done me well of late-there have been no mistakes in creation made by God and that is particularly true of humans. Now we may need growth or any number of other things but the artwork is fine and it ain't paint by number.

Jesus asks us this question from time to time which I think is telling, "Who do men say that I am? And who do you say that I am?" If He is indeed the Christ for us then we can rest in that and not apply cosmetics to His handiwork, nor yield to the "Satan" of self interest in proscribing the outcome of our journey with Him. We are called to the death, burial, and resurrection of the Messiah and His working in our lives and the calling of His grace to give us strength. "My grace is sufficient for you."

John

2006-08-06T06:49:00.000-05:00

Is you is, or is you isn't?

Someday I hope the polarizing questions we ask and thrive on aren't the foodstuffs of our ephemeral selves. The liberalism and conservatism of moderninity I hope give way to progression and cooperation.

I am a believer in the "vive la difference" of life that diversification is healthy, but polarizing ourselves into warring factions is an autoimmune disease of our church and our culture and mankind. How do we do this? As a post modern which is what we are like the label or not we carry forward the germ of humanity in its quest for discovery including the discovery of God. Post medievalism-moderninity thrived on change and languished in conflict and competition; the denominations exist today because of this competition. Brian Mclaren writes about this issue in his book "Generous Orthodoxy".

For a person who doesn't quite know whether to label myself a post charismatic I prefer to just be a Christian for now. For some of us I think we have a need to know what it is we know, I can say that for me I'm learning about who I know-Jesus among others, and about knowing who is me.

John

2006-07-24T08:14:00.000-05:00

To continue the survival theme...

I want to delve into what I term the baloney-ology of some of the water baptism teaching we've had in the past. We called the circumcision made without hands a cutting away of our flesh, our fleshliness as we termed it so we could be spiritual-now we's spartchule!

Our baptisedness determined our station in the pecking order of life; we sought to do away with the deeds of the flesh which Paul enumerated in scripture. This carving-up of God's creation has always puzzled me-Paul wrote of a war that raged in his members. Yet he never ceded a portion of himself to the opposition, his was a civil conflict. I remember being taught about the dead man we were dragging around that would kill us our carnality that we needed to remove his carcass from our spiritual selves. Troubling for me was why did Jesus allow Himself to be baptized? He had this done over the protests of his cousin John at the outset of His ministry. This Jesus who called Himself the "Son of Man" cast Himself as the quintessential human, the prototype of humanity in the flesh. He spoke of His flesh at the communion table as a part of His sacrifice in which remembrance was required. "In Him all the fullness of the Godhead dwells bodily" again in scripture.

Jesus told Niccodemus he must be born again; we call ourselves as modern Christians-"Born Again Christians". "Should I crawl back into my mother's womb? How far back do I unlearn?" asked Niccodemus. Jesus told this Pharisee that he must un-learn his religion and in so doing see the kingdom before him-Jesus the Messiah. Jesus the first born of many brethren invites into this table of fellowship, of familial relationship, baptism the sign of the irrefutability of birth, once your out, your out. In Jesus we're invited and indeed adopted into family and sovereignly made a part of that family never to be undone, never to be repented of by the Father.

Finally for today, the whole of your being was baptized flesh, spirit, soul or as the say in Texas "Horns, Hooves an' all" He saw that it was good.

John

2006-07-23T03:34:00.000-05:00

Continuation of the series "How to survive..."

Scripture tells us that, “It is appointed man once to die.” I’ve assumed along with possibly most everyone else that came as a result of the fall. Robert Capon surmises differently in his book Genesis the Movie. He tells us that the tree of life in the garden isn’t about perpetual existence in the present state of being unflawed by sin, but of freedom from the fear of death. He points out that in the time before that fateful day when Adam and Eve misinterpreted what God said and as a result were duped by Satan and their own mistrust that death was all around. Animals were devouring animals, something was dying be it plants or animals to provide Adam sustenance.

Pharaoh’s daughter names him Moses because “She drew him out of the water” Ex. 2:1-10. Moses the lawgiver in effect baptized a precursor to Israel being baptized wholesale in the Red Sea. Let’s go back to Moses; He was born into another family not his own by water. That was his salvation, his place of nurturing and eventually his education; he was the first literate Hebrew that I know of. Later when Israel fled from Pharaoh their salvation as a nation went through the red sea-water baptism set the nation of Israel apart from their past of slavery and bondage physically. They were as scripture tells us still in bondage inwardly, still enslaved in their hearts.

So what I think for us as relates to water baptism and the Body of Christ is that there is salvation in this Body we are born into this by water baptism. Is that a substitution for a relationship with Christ? Let’s look at the archetype Moses. He held meetings as it were with God on a regular basis on mountaintops and tents, he knew God face to face. Old Testament history to me shows a people content with their religion and letting someone else do the God thing, thanks. The Father wanted a relationship with His people, Jesus repeatedly used the informal term for God as Abba, like we’d say hey Dad as a way of communing with God. His inclusive “Our Father” in the prayer gives us insight again into the intimacy desired by the God with us.

The Body of Christ is a place where we get saved in the New Testament sense of that word “saved” where it translates “whole or wholeness”. It is the place where the slavery within is made into a place of experiential freedom. Now many twist and contort and I my mind just plain screw this all up. Jesus said He’d leave the ninety-nine and go seek out the lost sheep. Words about millstones being hung around folks necks who cause one of these little ones to stumble. Paul cautions Timothy to keep his doctrine straight as a way of salvation for both him and his flock. Thessalonians tells us that partaking of suffering is a requirement for the church, not inflicting suffering.

I want to continue this vein of thought so hang in there.
John

2006-07-22T08:21:00.000-05:00

Ahem,
This is the continuation of the series I started about "How to survive Christianity and take as many people with you as you can before they find out what you're up to."

Some of us, me included, have sought to differentiate ourselves as Mary's instead of Martha's. We look on Martha as a striver seeking to do in the flesh what calm, cool, and collected Mary did in the spirit. In most instances we did this in a most "Martha" like fashion.

Women were property in Jesus' time they had few rights, they couldn’t be called to testify in legal matters for instance, couldn't file for divorce, etc. Jesus had this disturbing habit of turning things on their head in "The first shall be last" modus operandi. So Martha was doing what women did they served and cooked and cleaned and did whatever men though needed doing, and if it was debasing or sexually exploitative oh well. The significance of Jesus' fellowship with these women as friends, as peers, as disciples is striking. He purposed to exalt their station in life as equals, (oh boy!) and even that of sinners to that of table companions, lost on us possibly but significant in His time.

So is it unspiritual to wash dishes, cook, sweep the house, do chores instead of read your bible and pray? Some certainly give this impression; what may have again escaped their notice is that Jesus did exactly this for most of his adult life as a tradesman-do menial stuff. He as a Messiah was a disappointment for the Jews because they assumed the Messiah would appear from some hidden unknown realm and be Messiah-ish. Jesus was a rube from the provinces and his family was known, not in very outstanding terms were they known. His brothers in fact according to those who documented the times didn't all believe He was the Messiah.

In church life sometimes we divide things and people into importance and treat them accordingly, Jesus isn't surprised at that behavior in the least. He said for the record that that isn't the way He divides things. The unimportant are called near to Him in fellowship, the self-important can go be important-elsewhere.

John

2006-07-16T04:55:00.000-05:00

I am hoping to find a way personally to get past the past and yet know that submitting to those who wound isn't what God intends even though some authors teach that. This is going to be a series of what I'm gonna call, "How to survive Christianity and take as many people with you as you can before they find out what you're up to."

BiographyDr. Lewis Smedes was educated at Calvin Theological Seminary and the Free University of Amsterdam. He is ordained in the Reformed Church of America and taught for over twenty-five years at Fuller Theological Seminary. Dr. Smedes is the author of many popular books of theology, including Forgive and Forget, Caring and Commitment, and A Pretty Good Person.

"Five Things Everyone Should Know About Forgiving" Let’s say that you’ve been hurt. Somebody you counted on let you down. Somebody you trusted betrayed you in your trust. Somebody who promised to take care of you, instead took advantage of you. The hurt goes deep. What makes the pain worse is that you were wronged. You did not have it coming. Nobody deserves to be treated the way you were treated. It was not fair.
One thing is for sure. You cannot change what happened. There is no delete button for the past. You are stuck with it. You cannot forget what happened. You cannot erase it from your mind. It is like a video tape sewed inside your head. And every time it plays its rerun, you feel the pain all over again.
Now you have to make the hard decision. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with a pain that you did not deserve to get in the first place? Or do you want to be rid of it, healed, freed from it, so that you can go on with your life without that painful memory shadowing you?
There is one way to heal yourself. It is not one way among many. It is the only way. God invented it. It did wonders for him and does wonders for us. We call it forgiving. And God tells us to try it for ourselves. "Forgive each other," the Good Book says, "as God in Christ forgave you."
It is so simple. And yet people often misunderstand what forgiving is. And what it isn’t. So I want to share five simple things about forgiving just to clear up some mistaken notions about God’s way of healing unfair pain.
I. Forgiving is the only way to be fair to yourself
People have said to me, "Forgiving is just not fair. Why should I have to forgive the lout who did me wrong and let him off Scott free as if it never happened? "That just isn’t fair," they say.
When they say that forgiving is not fair, I tell them that forgiving is the only way to be fair to yourself. Would it be fair to you that the person who hurt you once goes on hurting you the rest of your life? When you refuse to forgive, you are giving the person who walloped you once the privilege of hurting you all over again—in your memory.
Remember this: The first person to get the benefits of forgiving is the person who does the forgiving. It’s so important that I want to say that again: The first person who benefits from the forgiving is the person who does the forgiving. Forgiving is, first of all, a way of helping yourself to get free of the unfair pain somebody caused you. The most unfair thing about unfair pain is that you should go on suffering it in your bitterness and misery when there is such a simple remedy for it.
So if you think forgiving is unfair, let me tell you that once you’ve been wrongly hurt, forgiving is the only way to be fair to yourself.
II. Forgivers are not doormats
Some people have the notion that if you forgive you make yourself a doormat for people to walk on. A wimp. Nothing could be more wrong than this.
Let me tell you what one woman learned about not being a doormat and still being a forgiver. I was a guest on a radio talk show one time and a lady called in to tell us about how she had suffered the worst thing that could happen to a mother. A drunk driver in her neighborhood swerved his car out of control and hit and killed her three year old little girl who was playing on the grass near the curb. She died before they reached the hospital. Now, in a rage, her mother asked me how I could expect her to forgive a monster who got himself drunk, then took his car and killed her precious three year old daughter.
As soon as she hung up another woman called to say she had to speak to the first caller because the very same thing had happened to her. A drunk driver killed her five year old boy four years before, right in front of her own house. But listen to what she went on to say: She said that for two years, she lived in the fog of terrible rage. She fantasized the most horrible things happening to the man who killed her child. She wanted him to suffer more than he had made her suffer; to have nightmares the rest of his life and then burn in hell.
Well, after living in the misery of her blind, unhealed rage for two years, she woke up to the fact that the drunk who killed her son was now killing her—inside—a day at a time, killing her soul. And she was helping him do it. She was wise enough to go and see her priest who listened to her story and told her what she already knew, that the only way out of her pain was to set out on the journey of forgiveness. Yes, even for this wretched man who had done such a horrible thing to her. But he said there was something they had to do first. They had to begin a chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving in their town. They had to make it known that if you forgive a drunk driver it does not mean that you must tolerate drunk driving.
Forgive those who wrong you, but do not tolerate their wrong doing. Forgive them and tell them what Jesus told people he forgave: You are forgiven for what you did, but stop it, don’t do it again. Let me say it again: Forgivers are not doormats.
III. Forgivers are not fools
Some people think that if you forgive somebody you once trusted, it means that you have to go back into the same relationship with him or her that you had before. If she was a friend who made a practice of betraying you, forgive her and be friends again. Not a good idea. Forgivers do not have to be fools.
Suppose he was your husband once, and that he beat you or betrayed you until you just could not put up with it anymore and you left him. Now to heal yourself, you are ready to forgive him, ready to clean the garbage of spite and resentment out of your life.
But suppose he has given you reason to believe that if you went back to him, he would soon be back at his old abuse again. Don’t go back to him. Forgive him and pray that he will be changed. But don’t go back. Remember: You may be a forgiver, but forgivers do not have to be a fools.
IV. You don’t have to wait until he says he’s sorry
Some people believe that you should not forgive anyone who wronged you unless he or she crawls back on his knees, says he or she is sorry, and begs you to forgive him. I think that is a bad idea.
If you wait for the lout who hurt you to repent, you may have to wait forever. And then you are the one who is stuck with the pain. If you wait for the person who hurt you to say she’s sorry, you are giving her permission to keep on hurting you as long as you live. Why should you put your future happiness in the hands of an unrepentant person who had hurt you so unfairly to begin with? If you refuse to forgive until he begs you to forgive, you are letting him decide for you when you may be healed of the memory of the rotten thing he did to you.
Why put your happiness in the hands of the person who made you unhappy in the first place? Forgive and let the other person do what he wants. Heal yourself.
V. Forgiving is a journey.
Some people suppose that you should be able to forgive everything in a single minute and be done with it. I think they are very wrong. God can forgive in the twinkling of an eye, but we are not God. Most of us need some time. Especially if the hurt went deep and the wrong was bad. So when you forgive, be patient with yourself.
When you decide to forgive you first make a baby step on the way to healing. And then you go on from there. You may be on the way for a long time before you finish the job. And you may backslide and need to forgive all over again.
I once was in a rage at a police officer in the village where I live for abusing my youngest son for no good reason. I stomped about my house for several days in a fury of anger at the officer. I knew I would be miserable unless I forgave him. But I did. I did forgive him. I forgave him by going into my study and getting on my knees, and saying, "Officer Maloney, I forgive you. In the name of God, I forgive you."
About a year later I saw this same office drive by in a patrol car and I had to do it all over again. Only it was easier the second time. Then, a few years later, I heard that he had been fired from the force for abusive conduct. Hearing that tasted sweet as honey to me. I secretly smacked my lips with vengeful satisfaction. Then I realized I needed to forgive him one more time. Which I did. And, who knows, I may have to do it a few more times before I’m over it.
Nobody but God is a real pro at forgiving. We are amateur and bunglers. We cannot usually finish it the first time. So be patient with yourself. Make the first step. It will get you going and once on the way, you will never want to go back.
These are the five things I wanted to tell you about forgiving somebody who wronged you. Let me go over them once more:
1. Forgiving is the only way to be fair to yourself after someone hurts you unfairly.2. Forgivers are not doormats; they do not have to tolerate the bad things that they forgive.3. Forgivers are not fools; they forgive and heal themselves, but they do not have to go back for more abuse.4. We don’t have to wait until the other person repents before we forgive him or her and heal ourselves.5. Forgiving is a journey. For us, it takes time, so be patient and don’t get discouraged if you backslide have to do it over again.
And remember this: The first person who gets the benefit of forgiving is always the person who does the forgiving. When you forgive a person who wronged you, you set a prisoner free, and then you discover that the prisoner you set free is you. When you forgive, you walk hand in hand with the very God who forgives you everything for the sake of his Son. When you forgive, you heal the hurts you never should have felt in the first place.
So if you have been hurt and feel miserable about it, our Lord himself recommends forgiving as the only way to healing. I hope that you will try it for yourself.

Thanks,
John

2006-07-15T17:11:00.000-05:00

In my last post I wrote about art and life and the creation of said things, so this is a chiaroscuro, a sketch if you will that may have some dabs of thought here and there.

First of all let me say that I'm learning more at fifty than I have at any other point in life it seems. Circumcision for example originated with the Egyptians and was later practiced by the Israelites. Archaeological proof exists for this in the form of a terra-cotta phallus-circumcised unearthed in ruins in Egypt. This isn't the point of my thoughts today just an illustration of how things we learn change us.

But since I'm here I'll share this thought the circumcision made without hands that we have been taught is the cutting away of the old man I think is baloney. Jewish males are considered Jews after the Moil performs the Bris precisely on the eight day after birth. It is a time of family, of welcoming the little fellow into the family and of extending the both the lineage of that particular family's heritage and that of the Jewish nation. It is their responsibility to see to that through their protection and nurturing.

The baby Jesus had this performed in the proper way by loving parents and so was welcomed into the Jewish nation as a human. I want you to hear this and hang with me ok? A child unknowingly becomes a Jew through the efforts of others, I say unknowingly because it is done without their assent to the ritual. Of course in the Hebrew bible (or Old Testament) the men who were first circumcised had to consent to it. Later at either the bat or bar mitzvahs they become accountable of age to take on themselves the responsibility of being a Jew. Enough sketching for today.
John

2006-07-13T05:39:00.000-05:00

As I'm sitting here this morning a documentary about John Singer Sargent is playing in the background. A renowned portraitist he made his way past the Salon in Paris and the patrons of Europe and America. He actually renounced portraiture and began landscapes in both water color and oil-the critics accused him of being a tourist. Sargent was the quiet fellow who used odd composition, insolence in poses, and a grand mastery of the medium he felt a responsibility to his talent-his gift.

Growing up in the house of an artist I saw how a white gesso canvas came to life, the sketches, the still life, the scenery, the person(s) took form after a time it seemed best to stop. To step back and let the painting be, so it seems is the case with writing something, it swirls about in my mind, it troubles me and eventually I have to give it voice of some sort. Honestly I write as much for me as anyone else, though I appreciate your attentions and response they are a blessing. I feel the amateur most of the time but that really isn't the point, it's the words and thoughts that mean something. Of course the frame, the page or the screen contain an object, something of interest of focus but it isn't all there is to be seen or said about the matter, just what needs expression at that time.

On screen now in the documentary is the scene he painted of blinded soldiers in the First World War; the line of walking wounded, eyes blinded are a foreground for the incongruity of a soccer game in a peaceful landscape that recedes in the distance. Sometimes life is a gallery that we exist in possibly oblivious to the hours that were spent in creating the objects de art briefly viewed by us patrons. I walked this morning on a planet ages old and saw starlight that has streamed across time and space to decorate the gray twilight of dawn. The air I breathe itself is a history book, several molecules of air that Jesus respired pass through my body.

The gallery of life has tragedies, happiness, and lots of stuff in between, if we are aware of our place in this existence of our presence in a dynamic of natural and spiritual we may survive it.

John

2006-07-01T15:49:00.000-05:00

While waiting around in a Barnes and Nobel one afternoon I glanced down at a book that had interest which used the word "Bullshit" in the title. Inside the front cover the author credited his father a university prof. I think. He related the tale briefly of his father's business card reciprocated to those who handed theirs to him. In fine embossed ink the subscript under his dad's name read, "I'm something of a bullshit artist myself."

This universal colloquialism for untruth was the first word of profanity uttered to me by a teacher when my high school band director in response to a lame excuse for missing a Saturday practice said in exasperation Bullshit. Hung over didn't seem to be a proper illness so I stammered around about being sick-Bullshit.

Legendary Hollywood producer Robert Evans has parlayed this talent into a career in his broadcasts on Sirius Radio and His Sunday television show with Daryl F. Zannuck-he of "The kid stays in the picture" fame. I use this rather shocking bit of profanity because it seems to me were astounded as Christians when confronted with this reality in our lives. Some have made themselves cozy with the notion; I read a tome by a defrocked televangelist whose posed photo journal seemed to relish his status as B.S. artist in residence.

Somewhere down the road we've uncovered this secret, akin to discovering cars don't run on water that Christianity can't be done as a Bullshit enterprise. Some, as in me, were distraught at the fact that Jesus meant it when He said "I am the way, the truth, and the life and no one comes to the Father except through me." I could surround myself with platitudes and aphorisms, Christian and otherwise about the philosophical side of life, or I can face reality-Jesus is truth.

I can reside in the cynic's lair of disdain cozy in scorn and ridicule-there's a living to be made there these days. I can skulk in shame and remorse, commit living suicide where I kill off my hopes and dreams and drift through life. I can run and hide, and lurk, and regret ever having lived and spend the rest of my guarded miserable existence making God pay for ever having the temerity to make me. Or I can realize that Jesus came to seek and save those who are lost-in a sea of...Bullshit.
John

2006-06-21T08:23:00.000-05:00

How Christian is your bomb?

The present up scuttle in the world is that termed the "War on Terror". News photos and headlines reflect the world's angst over the Iranian nuclear program and North Korea's launch of a crude missile system that could deploy a weapon of some sort to the west coast of the United States. These jihadists must be stopped at all costs even if it decimates the populations of the world in the gross tonnage of munitions expended.

Philip Yancey in his book "Finding God in Unexpected Places" details the peaceful overthrow of Communism in Germany based in the city of Leipzig. There a handful of Christians, and I mean a handful, began to pray and seek God for the relief from their burden because they had no access to the centers of political power as we do in the West their only resort was prayer.

As their numbers grew they began peaceful nonviolent candle-light vigils and marches through the city streets. As their numbers swelled to thousands to almost the entire city population the secret police began to threaten and harass them. In a final showdown the East German dictator threatened to shoot the protesters as they gathered and silently marched through the city. One evening which was to be culminated with a church service the air was thick with tension; the police had orders to shoot to kill. As the church doors opened the Communist party members stormed the church and filled the pews, the protesters simply marched upstairs and sat in the balconies and the worship ensued.

It became apparent that the protesters were seeking nonviolent solutions to the problems they all faced. In short the dictatorship toppled and a stream of East Germans flowed through the wall unmolested for the first time since its erection nearly a half a century before. The power of prayer and vigilance not based in political power or expedience, but of hopeful expectance in a loving God won the day.

As I’ve written elsewhere we pray our prayers and go to bed at night under a nuclear umbrella that has the capacity to unleash enough destructive power to exterminate 100 million people in the span of time it takes to watch a prime-time sit-com.
John

2006-06-17T17:08:00.000-05:00

Several years ago I began to read books by authors that opened-up a pathway through the forest of my existence that led me through the deep shade of despair.

These folks instead of ignoring the presence of despair, embraced it, some gave vivid depictions of sitting on the curb in front of a de-tox center, drunk and in the ministry. Others have written of monumental changes in ministry focus that removed them from the company of intellectuals to those whose spirits caught the winds of creation that their enfeebled minds could not. Others yet spoke to the pugilistic indulgence of modern Christianity which uses the Gospel as a battering ram to crash the gates of society, of invading the person like a beachhead.

The conquering church of the Crusades is alive and well from their point of view misguided in a quest yet again to Christianize the culture and dilute the gospel. Revelations as Philip Yancey writes has little to speak of Rome other than to term it "The great whore of Babylon" yet names the churches of Asia and their specific sins and calls them individually to repentance. He concludes that if the gates of hell can't prevail against the church why bother about the peccadilloes of a culture.

The church has lost its way in being salt and light; salt as it seeps into the meat of society gives it flavor and preserves it, light illumines and relives us of fears. I sat in church the other evening as our pastor spoke to the issues raised by the cultural phenomena of "The DaVinci Code". He wasn't an antagonist, he was an explorer reminiscent of Copernicus, or Michelangelo, or others who've bridged the frontiers of belief and the cosmos. In contrast it seems to me we Christians whip out the microscope and in reductionist mendacity divine how finely we have split the hairs of religious arcania. Or we telescope our existence into an eschatological fantasy land, sell tickets to same and wait in long lines for the ride to begin; meanwhile life passes us by.

My journey and hence journal has notations and stops along the way that have been refreshingly real, and sometimes unpleasantly awakening. My illusions, my attachments, and my creation of Castles in Spain take on a Quixote-esque proportion of windmill crusades. Though despair isn’t the “100 acre wood” I dwell in it is also not a foe any longer; but as Milne left a pot of Hunny, so I’ve found a repast, a table set in the wilderness by the Father.

John

2006-06-16T05:56:00.000-05:00

A few moments ago as I sat in my lawn chair out back I was thinking, praying, meditating about how the kingdom operates. Here's what occurred to me; Jesus doesn't manage, He reigns. As indisputable monarch of God's Kingdom, Jesus does as He pleases.

He does things from his divine nature and from his humanness that is untainted by sin, co-equal, co-existent; part of the Trinity has human DNA in it. Ok so where ya going with this one John? I believe accountability is a two-way street. For instance if in my holding you accountable I make it so difficult or unbearable for you to be obedient then I'm accountable for that. I'm a fallen human with fallen motives. Jesus however has divine motives His experience of suffering all things and enduring all things uniquely qualify Him as an advocate for us with the Father as intercessor.

Jesus knows of the human condition, of being tired, irritable, sad, lonely, happy, aroused sexually and otherwise. His emotions were in full sway when He cleansed the temple, driving out the merchants and opportunists as a judgment some say on Israel's faithfulness. It says in scripture that we won't be tempted beyond what we can bear, yet we still fall. Our accountability to Him isn't based on a juridical quid-pro-quo, but on our relationship with Him. Because of this He makes our failing bearable, our falling short not a place of isolation but of communion.

Because of His divinity there is part of the Trinity in us. God has chosen to make His abode in us. We are called by Him to make our abode in Him as well. How's this done? We learn to trust as Nouwen says our inner voice. I'm in a struggle in my church that I attend at present, my inclination for self preservation is to fight, to argue, to gossip and build a case and if all else fails trump them with the finality of "Adios Amigo".

I've had days of inner dialogue of conversations with the person I'm struggling with and in the meantime trying to pray, to hear that inner voice. I sat out in the backyard this morning and resignedly told Jesus, "You allowed this to happen." Not in an accusation but a resignation to the fact, the usual course is to ask what the reason is, what do I learn from this, what didactics are at play here. The thought came to me Jesus rules, he doesn't manage, what's that mean I asked. Silence, more silence, I pace, I fidget, I get on line, I get something to drink, I sit down and still silence.

Ah, silence, "don't just do something stand there". When Jesus slept in the back of the boat as it swamped for Him there was silence, for the others there were pragmatics, solutions, seamanship, they sought to manage the problem. When aroused Jesus rebuked the wind and the waves, the "managers" of the boat just quaked in their boots (or sandals as the case may be) now more afraid of Jesus than the storm. They wanted a managerial solution from Jesus, He swept the storm aside and on azure calm seas He rebuked them for their lack of faith.

Not to end our session on a flannel graph note of ascetics, and approbations of faith but Jesus hasn't called us to manage our lives. It is foreign to Him to consider doing anything else but reign. We've heard countless imprecations by some authoritarian Pooh-Bah on our lack of faith for not being in control of the situation. Nothing further from the truth of reigning could be said about needing to be in control.

Jesus responded to Pilate's query don't you know who I am, with a similar question. The difference being that Jesus actually knew who He was and it didn't come from a signet ring or a Procurator’s banner as a symbol of power. Jesus didn't need a seal other than the seal of His blood, it held in it the power of His being; both divine and human, co-equal, co-existent. It's still silent on my inside; the voice of my inner self says "be quiet" and watch. No running around grabbing the tiller, dropping the sail even bailing water, just hang on and watch, watch Jesus, watch the Lord Jesus.
John

2006-06-14T09:18:00.000-05:00

Several years ago I came upon a book by Michael Yaconelli entitled "Messy Spirituality". The subtitle says it if not all at least well "God's annoying love for imperfect people."

If you've had some rough sledding in life and especially in church like me, I think you'll find this short book to be an epiphany. I still sport extruder marks from the Play-dough factory of my Christian experience of yore so things like "Unspiritual Growth" and "Odd Discipleship" piqued my very intense interest.

Or as Brennan Manning's friend in New Orleans banner reads on her living room wall "Today I'll not should on my self". Someone tells her she should go back to college, go on the mission field, or she should do some thing she replies, "Don't should on me." I dare you to say that and not smile.
John

2006-06-13T06:30:00.000-05:00

In the upper left hand of the screen I'm typing on is one of my most favorite words I know in the English language-create. As a child one or another of my kindergarten or elementary teachers sent home a note saying that I didn't color in the lines, my mother's curt reply, "Thank God!"

The church, by and large, has a poor record of encouraging freedom. She has spent so much time inculcating in us the fear of making mistakes that she has made us like ill-taught piano students: we play our songs, but we never really hear them because our main concern is not to make music but to avoid some flub that will get us in dutch.
-Robert Capon

Man has set out at tremendous speed...to go nowhere.
-Jacques Ellul

The domestication of Christianity has been a pet project of the church it seems for many. We nod approvingly at terms like balance, growth, perspective, and maturity. We sanctify the smoothing-out of life, the niceness of Christians, and the aplomb of spiritual professionalism. Henri Nouwen writes of the need for us to realize the tremendous value of being true to ourselves as God made us.

"It is not going to be easy to listen to God's call. Your self-doubt, and your great need for affirmation make you lose trust in your inner voice and run away from yourself. But you know that God speaks to you from your inner voice and that you will find joy and peace only if you follow it."

The Inner Voice of Love.

John

2006-06-11T06:16:00.000-05:00

Finally I got a window seat on the last leg of my trip to and from Missouri last weekend and I looked at the landscape passing by from thirty-thousand feet. The Mississippi river course lay below amidst a quilt work of fields, towns and roads, a lake here and there accented the view. What interested me though was the riverbed which in some places had changed course and left a closed circuit of an Oxbow lake. In other places the river had almost doubled back on itself on its journey finally to the sea, the Gulf of Mexico. Ancient glacial moraine has tumbled down this valley in these muddy waters and contributed to the very mass my home rests on today.

It was among other things a picture of the journey I've had as a believer; of going about getting there in a circuitous routing my failures and weaknesses as a Christian gouging out a course in life. My record as a believer has been one of as much downs as ups, maybe more. I've shredded the Ten Commandments, from the avarice of coveting to murder in the form of character assassination of a foe, to adultery and fornication in the desperate hope of finding acceptance. I could tell you about grace and God's love at this juncture, of how He's sustained me which would all be true and significant.

What I find remarkable about the Father is that He knows about the sharp bends, the pain, the undercurrent of motivation, the eddies of fidelity, in short that which causes pain. Brennan Manning remarked that Jesus was attuned to the pain of humans in His earthly ministry and was drawn to it. He ministered acceptance to the woman at the well, He allowed the worship of a notorious town prostitute in a Pharisee’s home, Simon was wise and well connected, she was considered disposable. The lepers He healed and sent to the elders of that city not only cleansing them of their disease, but relieving them of their disgrace and rejection by the religious system of the day.

Fortunately for us He's equally well tuned to our pain and places of anguish and shame, and moved to reach out to us and embrace us in a healing posture. I hope to tell more of my story in the time to come and thanks in advance for your companionship!
John

2006-06-09T18:57:00.000-05:00

Welcome! I'm sure John will have wonderful thoughts to share with all of you soon. I'm the techie wife who is helping (and encouraging) him to do so. I hope you enjoy his humor and meditations on life as much as his family does.
Kind regards to all. . .